Can you teach people how to treat you?


This is a topic I have struggled to come to terms with; especially when you are born with the capacity to love and overdo it (and I mean, really overdo it). Can you teach people how to treat you? If you have been treated badly by a friend, family member, lover, crush, is it inherently your fault? Will you always come across people that no matter how good you are to them, fail to treat you the same way? I personally think that you can express your expectations, set your boundaries for how you want to be treated, love yourself to the fullest, but you can’t “teach” someone who doesn’t want to be taught.  You cannot force someone you care about, to show the same level of attentiveness, affection, and effort as you do. I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum and burned my self-esteem through tireless efforts to get people I adore to love and respect me the way I love and respect them.

Self love, is so important, but here are some tips to dealing with people who don’t treat you the way you want to be treated:

  1. Learning to eventually identify, reflect, and communicate the issue helps. You should never feel like you are doing so much with nothing to show for it.
  2. Walking away: having the confidence to tone it down or walk away completely is an option.
  3. Learning that people express love and affection in many different ways: your way of expressing love may not reflect someone else’s manner of expressing love/friendship.


What are your thoughts? Is it contextual?

Leave a comment

  1. May 24, 2017 / 5:24 pm

    This is sooooo good and important! Other people treat you how you allow them to! Learning to love yourself is the best way to prioritize your boundaries and assert them when necessary and choose yourself!

  2. June 24, 2017 / 6:01 pm

    That third point is one of the biggest life lessons I’ve learned. I have dismissed a lot of people who care about me (friends and lovers) because I didn’t recognize their form of love and affection. Great post!

  3. July 5, 2017 / 1:49 pm

    You cant teach a person who’s not willing to learn. Thank you for this 🙂

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