Quarantine 2020…

2020 needs to be unplugged and plugged back in. 2020 needs to be put in rice. 2020 needs to be beat, wiped (maybe give it a blow), and placed back into the console. Why did I even bother with a planner ? When will my dreams of being on a film set come true? All these and more will be answered in 2021 (welp). The world is a mess, but at least we’re all in this together. This is just an update and my thoughts during lockdown in list form.

Introverts are having the time of their lives, and extroverts are going mad.

This is one of the first things I noticed during quarantine. I was SO happy to find out that I would be working from home. I’m socially great with people, but a social recharge was definitely in order. The extroverts (including friends and people that I see on my social media timelines) are going crazy. It is delightful to see but also, slightly concerning. Do you not have a list of TV shows and movies to catch up on? What about those tasks that you wanted to get to but couldn’t because of time constraints? Side projects? Fitness goals? Deep cleaning projects? I just have a hard time believing that folks over 25 are “bored”. Yes I do miss having the choice to do things. The choice to go outside, hangout with my friends, go to the gym, etc. These outside endeavours genuinely matter to my life. I am however, very grateful for this time indoors.

I’ve saved up money, my hair and skin are flourishing and I genuinely feel at ease. It is the detox I craved, but it came in the wrong type of package. 

I feel more pressure to get my life together

The first two weeks of quarantine (for me at least), was filled with a lot of anxiety, overthinking, and stress eating. I took the quarantine fifteen to heart (and to my hips *sad-face*). I think that the stress and anxiety stemmed from not knowing how long it would last and just general anxiety when I’m out on grocery runs.I also had such high hopes for my personal goals, so seeing that being thrown into dust was very overwhelming. When I finally started to implement a routine, I tried to treat quarantine as a way to refresh and re-analyse every aspect of my life instead of treating it with dread. With this revelation came the looming sense that I needed to have my life together YESTERDAY. I had no excuse to not put out content, lose weight, and research what my next career move would be. After video chatting with friends and family, they made me realise that a) we’re all going through this pandemic together and that it is traumatic for some and b) go easy on yourself but don’t neglect yourself.

Going back to basics

I’m feeling more and more in tune with who I really am during this quarantine. Even though my daily routine is seemingly mundane and tedious, I enjoy taking things at a much slower pace. I take my time cooking, cleaning, playing guitar and reading. It also makes me realize more and more that I do not fit under the structure and pace of a 9-5 corporate job. I need to find peace and happiness in a career that captivates and stimulates my creativity. Even if my dream career is fast paced and stressful at times, it would be something that I can spend hours doing because I love it that much.

Working from home is a nice change though, and I’m super grateful that I still have an opportunity to generate income in these unprecedented times. All in all, I do miss the outside, I feel TERRIBLY for those directly affected by COVID-19, and I hope that once the world re-opens, we are all better versions of ourselves. 

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